Wedding Toast Etiquette: Everything You Should Know About the Wedding Speech

A wedding toast is a moment where loved ones of newlyweds are given the chance to share their love for the couple and have guests join them in raising a glass. But it’s important to understand that there’s a difference between being asked to give a wedding toast and a wedding speech. Not only is a toast much shorter than a speech, it’s also a less formal part of the wedding proceedings. Still, it’s a wonderful chance to speak from the heart and create a warm memory for the couple to remember when looking back on their big day.

Planning to give a toast at an upcoming celebration? Ahead, learn everything from when you should clink your glass to start up your small speech to what not to say in a wedding toast.

What Is the Difference Between a Wedding Toast and Speech?

“There’s often a little confusion between a toast and a speech, but trust me, they’re not the same—and knowing the difference is key to keeping a wedding flowing beautifully and meaningfully,” says wedding planner Jove Meyer. “A toast is short, sweet, and celebratory. It’s a quick moment to raise a glass, share a heartfelt sentiment, and invite everyone to join in honoring the marriers. Think of it as light and uplifting, just a few intentional words that bring the room together in love and joy.”

“A speech, on the other hand, is more personal and structured,” he continues. “It gives the speaker a bit more space to reflect, tell a meaningful story, or dive deeper into their connection with the marriers. Speeches can absolutely be funny, emotional, or a bit of both, but they should still be intentional and focused. I always recommend keeping them under five minutes.”

How Long Should a Wedding Toast Be?

Remember that your toast should not breach into speech territory, so keep your script extra tight. Meyer notes that toasts typically run two to three minutes max. Run much further over and you run the risk of messing with the timeline of the day.

Who Toasts and When?

The to-be-weds will likely select and inform guests they would like to give toasts ahead of the wedding so they are prepared to do it on the day of. Being chosen to speak at this life event is an honor usually held by those closest to the couple. “Toasts are usually given by someone in the marriers’ inner circle, such as a family member (chosen or biological) or a member of the wedding party,” notes Meyer.

Curious if you can give an impromptu toast either on the wedding day or at another weekend event? “Technically, yes, you can give a toast at a wedding without being asked in advance, but whether you should is another story,” advises Meyer. “Weddings are thoughtfully planned events, with each moment designed to reflect the couple’s love story and maintain the flow and vibes of the celebration. If you weren’t invited to speak, it’s likely because the couple has already chosen the people they want to hear from. Jumping in uninvited, even with good intentions, can disrupt the energy and feel out of place.”